Pastor Stan Mons
Sermon Transcription:
Hallelujah, Father Lord, we bless you. Lord Jesus, we thank you for all that you have done on our behalf so that we would never have to work for Almighty God, trying to somehow come into right standing with the Father. Thank you, Jesus. This is why we worship you. This is why we glorify you. This is why we raise our voices. This is why we dance in your presence. This is why we glorify you and honor you, because you have done for us what no one could have done. Yet, you chose in love to give yourself completely unto us. Lord God, we glorify you, we bless you, we thank you. Lord, we pray, Holy Spirit, that you come and that you minister unto our hearts and into our minds. Holy Spirit, we pray that every person that is with us online may experience your ministry unto the heart and unto the mind, that they may see, receive, be set free, and receive direction from God Almighty. Lord God, we pray that you lead this service. Holy Spirit, I pray that you overshadow my weakness. Spirit, the word belongs to you; you give the word freely. To you be all the glory and all the honor.
In the name of Jesus, I ask, Holy Spirit, that you would allow me the ability to sow the seed of the word one more time. May the seed of your word, Lord God, go into the hearts of your people, of every person that you're calling, Lord, and Lord, that you may cause it to grow, that you may cause it to begin to take root in the heart. Father, a long time ago, you told me that I have a seed-sowing ministry. Lord, I pray, Lord God, I've been content with not always seeing the fruit, knowing that you've given me a sowing ministry. But today, especially, Father, I pray that your word may not return void to you, that your word may accomplish everything that you've sent it out for. Father, Lord, be glorified today. I pray that we may be a joy to your heart as the word comes forth and as we make room for it in our lives. In Jesus' name, amen, amen.
We're going into the word today, and the Lord has deemed it fit over the last weeks to continually give us words that were connected to the life of David. And again, this week, a word connected to the life of David. The title is this: The Pain and the Presence. The pain and the presence—this is really a word to every single person. There are only two types of people in the world: those that are right with God and those that are not yet right with God. This is a word to every single one. So, this is a word from the heart of God to you. We're going to start off our story in the book of 2 Samuel. At this time, one of the sons of David, his name was Absalom, had killed another son of David, Amnon. David loved Amnon, and Absalom had killed him, had waited for an opportunity to kill him, had killed him in revenge, killed him to somehow try to right a wrong. Then he's banished; he moves on; he is no longer living in Jerusalem. But eventually, he comes back to Jerusalem. He comes to live close to his father David again, and that's where we pick up this story.
2 Samuel, Chapter 14. We're going to start in verse 25. Verse 25, 2 Samuel, the 14th chapter: "Now in all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. And when he cut the hair of his head (at the end of every year he cut it because it weighed heavy on him), he weighed the hair of his head at 200 shekels according to the king's standard." Here we have Absalom. The word says no one was spoken about as far as beauty, handsomeness, and manliness as Absalom—not David. This sounds a little bit more like how people talked about King Saul. He was head and shoulders taller than others; he was handsome. He couldn’t see it in himself at the time, King Saul, but he stood out to the people. In the same way, Absalom here seems to stand out to the people more than anyone else for his good looks.
Imagine that being said of you in the word of God: everyone knew you for your good looks. Some of you can relate; some of you cannot relate. That's okay. One thing I cannot relate to is the growth of his hair. The word tells us every year he would cut it to the weight of 200 shekels.
That is five pounds, and he didn’t have dirty hair. He was royalty. He would get treatment; he would get it washed; he would get it cleaned. He wasn’t cheating, adding on weight somehow, trying to dreadlock those things up. This was hair growing from his head, and it was, in a matter of speaking, his crown of honor. He was somewhat happy with it. That’s why he had it weighed, and we have recorded: everybody needed to know 200 shekels worth, five pounds of hair this man grew on his head every single year. Then the word continues: "To Absalom were born three sons and one daughter, whose name was Tamar. She was a woman of beautiful appearance."
Here, Absalom the murderer seems to have an interesting thing going on. He murders his half-brother, and he's only gone for a relatively short amount of time, comes to live back in the city, seemingly not having to worry about facing the consequences of his actions. He's not called to the court; he's not judged for it. There’s no real consequence in his life for what he has done. His hair is growing strong; people are talking about him like he’s the next best thing in the kingdom. He has a wonderful family, healthy kids.
Then we read verse 28: "And Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem but did not see the king's face." Absalom comes back to the city and lives in Jerusalem again, but David will not see him. David, King David, will not see his own son. We know from the word (and we're going to see that later on) David had not forgiven his son for what he had done. He loved Amnon, and in his unforgiveness, David did not want to see his son face to face. This son had lain in wait, set his half-brother up, waited patiently to get his revenge, and killed one of the sons of David. David has not forgiven him, and so Absalom does not get to see King David. Maybe you say, "Well, that's understandable. I understand that. Even if there's not a real consequence, this is kind of the minimum of what you should expect in the circumstance." Not Absalom.
Let's continue in verse 29: "Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, David's man, to send him to the king, but he would not come to him. And when he would send again the second time, he would not come." You don't do that to Absalom. Absalom likes to get his way. So Absalom said to his servants, "See, Joab's field is near mine, and he has barley there. Go and set it on fire." And Absalom's servants set the field on fire. Then Joab arose and came to Absalom's house and said to him, "Why have your servants set my field on fire?"
And Absalom answered Joab, "Look, I sent to you, saying, 'Come here so that I may send you to the king, to say, "Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still. Now therefore let me see the king's face. But if there is iniquity in me, let him execute me."'" So Joab went to the king and told him, and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king and bowed himself to his face to the ground before the king. Then the king kissed Absalom.
Now, there are a couple of things right here in the story that are very easy to overlook because it almost is a confusing story. Absalom, I'm sorry, you tell one of David's commanders to just show up at your house? You are the one that killed one of the king's sons, and after two times, one of David's men does not show up, and with everything you've done and the way you've done it, and the way you've gone about it, you go and set the guy's field on fire to get his attention? And then, when he shows up, you tell him, "Look, I called twice for you. I gave you a good chance. You gotta listen to me when I call. I need you to do this for me. I am Absalom at the end of the day." By the way, why have I even come here from Geshur? It would have been better for me to just stay there. The audacity of Absalom to talk like this, the insubordination—it is almost amazing that with all of this attitude, all of this situation, David then proceeds to invite him, allow him to come before him, and kiss him. That was a symbolic way of forgiving him for what he had done, forgiving the murder of one of his sons.
Well, there's something hidden in here because Absalom was always a very manipulative, connected guy. David is in an impossible position. There's really no wiggle room for David, even though he's the king of Israel. How come? The king of Geshur is Absalom's grandfather. When Absalom killed one of the sons of David, he ran back to his grandfather. He ran back to Geshur, where his grandfather was king. David had married a daughter of the king of Geshur and, in that way, made a marriage alliance, ensured peace, ensured good trading, ensured protection for both sides of the coin, both peoples.
So Absalom kills one of David's sons, flees to his grandfather because there he doesn't need to face the consequences of his actions, and he can still behave like royalty. He still has the advantages: "My grandfather is still on the throne. If this king doesn't give me what I want, I just run to this one." Then Joab comes to get him from Geshur to bring him back to Jerusalem. Within a matter of years, a very short amount of time, two years, Absalom goes, "Listen, you all bring me back here, but honestly, I was living like royalty in Geshur. It was really better for me there. Here, I don't even get to see the king. Listen, you're going to have to give me some stuff. You're going to have to make it better for me, or else I'm just going to go back. I'm just going to hang out there."
That's David's situation. One of his wives' father is the king of Geshur, Absalom's grandfather. So here we have this man, also a son of David, who has murdered one of his sons, who has been so manipulative in so many ways, so mean and unreasonable to faithful servants of David. So two-faced towards the people—everyone spoke well of him, but behind closed doors, Absalom always got his way, sought to have his will always, and David forgives him.
Then we read verse 1 in chapter 15: "After this, it happened that Absalom provided himself with chariots and horses and fifty men to run before him. Now Absalom would rise early and stand beside the way to the gate. So it was, whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the king for a decision, that Absalom would call to him and say, 'What city are you from?' And he would say, 'Your servant is from such and such a tribe of Israel.' Then Absalom would say to him, 'Look, your case is good and right, but there is no deputy of the king to hear you.' Moreover, Absalom would say, 'Oh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who had any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give them justice.' And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. In this manner, Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel."
Now it came to pass, after forty years—forty years he's willing to wait, forty years he's willing to play his game, forty years willing to manipulate, forty years willing to grease some palms and get everything ready. Now it came to pass, after forty years, that Absalom said to the king, "Please let me go to Hebron and pay the vow which I made to the Lord." He abuses the king; he abuses the Lord: "For your servant took a vow while I dwelt at Geshur in Syria, saying, 'If the Lord indeed brings me back to Jerusalem, then I will serve the Lord.'" And the king said to him, "Go in peace." So he arose and went to Hebron.
Then Absalom sent spies throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, "As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then you shall say, 'Absalom reigns in Hebron!'" And with Absalom went two hundred men invited from Jerusalem, and they went along innocently and did not know anything." The manipulator hadn't told them everything; he was just trying to get his way, had it all set up, and worked at it for forty years. "Then Absalom sent for Ahithophel, the Gilonite, David's counselor, from his city, from Giloh, while he offered sacrifices. And the conspiracy grew strong, for the people with Absalom continually increased in number. Now a messenger came to David, saying, "The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom." So David said to all his servants who were with him at Jerusalem, "Arise, let us flee, or we shall not escape from Absalom. Make haste to depart, lest he overtake us suddenly and bring disaster upon us and strike the city with the edge of the sword." And then verse 30: "So David went up by the ascent of the Mount of Olives and wept as he went up, and he had his head covered and went barefoot. And all the people who were with him covered their heads and went up, weeping as they went up."
Here we have a man who is so wounded, so hurt, so taken by surprise, time and time again willing, if you will, to give the benefit of the doubt, willing to hope, willing to give another chance and another chance. And Absalom is always taking, always wounding, always manipulating, always making a way for himself, always seeking to elbow his way forward, trying to get his will to take place. Time and time again, David is made to look like a fool by his own son. David is made to look weak by his own son. David is being backstabbed by his own son, by Absalom. But David had come to a place of total forgiveness towards Absalom at that point, where this man had come to the place to forgive the man in front of him for killing one of his sons, planning it, setting it up. It wasn't a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing; it was calculated, planned way in advance. When David came to the point where he fully forgave this man, where he fully forgave Absalom, he had forgiven this man in such a way—it's full forgiveness. This man could never be guilty in his eyes ever again. It didn't matter what he did; it didn't matter that he was going through the land, putting chariots and horses and men in front of him, which only the king-to-be would do, and he was not in line to be the king.
David knew about this. David heard about these things, and yet he treated Absalom as if he's done nothing wrong. He doesn't bring it up; he doesn't stop it. He lets it all take place. He knows that Absalom is in the gate, sweet-talking every person that is really there to see David and ends up never in the court because Absalom says, "David and his helpers have no time for you. You have a really good case; it's worth hearing, but this king and his helpers, they have no time for you." David would have known. David would have heard about it. He was still king; he still had his people. Yet he always keeps his mouth shut. He treats Absalom completely forgiven. He cannot look at him as guilty. David, no matter what happened, could never be offended ever again by Absalom because he had forgiven him.
This is what forgiveness looks like: to forgive someone, to begin to look at them even though they still make mistakes, as if they've never done a thing wrong and to treat them accordingly. You see, there's a thing going around, and often in churches, this is how people are taught to think: that you forgive someone for what they did wrong to you. In portion, that is true, but you have to forgive the person because this person is going to maybe do it again. This person is going to disappoint you again or break their word again or talk a little bit about you behind your back again. They're going to do it again. And then what are you going to do? You have to take offense again? They have to say sorry again? You're going to be in a cycle with all the people in your life because nobody's perfect.
But David came to a place where the wrong had gotten so deep and so grievous and so audacious that he came to a place where he forgave the person, not the wrong. And from there on out, he treated Absalom, at every single turn of the road, as if he was fully forgiven, guilty of nothing. Even when his own people, against his orders, eventually get to Absalom and kill him, David grieves for him and weeps for him and is slain and broken in his heart because he wasn't looking at Absalom as if he had done anything wrong at all. He could not be offended with this man anymore because he had forgiven him. Pain, yes—deep, deep hurt in David, yes—but he lets Absalom do it, and he lets him continue. There's not a sign of remorse, never been a sign of remorse, a true sign of remorse in Absalom's life anywhere you look in all of the stories; there's never been a sign of remorse, always just looking for the opportunity to get out of this and get ahead. Yet, David is treating this man as if he's perfect, fully forgiven, and David ends up living with so much pain. The people that are close to him, weeping with him as they go up, are broken and hurt.
It's right here, at this place in David's life, that he has one of the most powerful revelations of God's presence. That's where the title comes from: "The Pain and the Presence." With these tears still in his eyes, he writes Psalm 3. We just sang it; I did not know we were going to sing it. Psalm 3—we're going to read the first six verses. This is what David writes right here at this point in his life, completely broken: "Lord, how have they increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, 'There is no help for him in God.' But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, And He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people Who have set themselves against me all around."
Here's a man who stopped taking offense with the offender. Here's a man that stopped taking up accusation against the offender—an offender that just keeps going. Not someone who has remorse, not someone who says sorry, not someone who tries to make amends. Someone who says, "Listen, if you don't make it better for me here, I'm just going to go back. I got places to go. My grandfather's a king too. I can hang out there and be royalty, so you got to make it worth my while, David. Make it worth my while."
Here's a man, David, who has stopped taking up accusation against his offender. See, David had a lot of wrongs in his own life as well, and every time that David ended up doing his greatest wrongs, God always had shown him mercy, and God had always shown him grace. It began to give birth to something in David's heart that allowed him to come to the place where he forgave the man, not just the sin. He forgave the man that had wounded him so deeply, his family so deeply, and would continue to do so until his death. He forgave the man so he could treat that man perfectly, as if he is not doing a thing wrong, has never done a thing wrong in his life.
David could do it because he had seen himself do his wrongs. We just heard about David, how he made himself into a fool, robbed himself of all the testimony that God had given him and the people of Israel with him, when he changed his behavior before the king of Gath and pretended to be insane. And yet the Lord responded to him right then and there and gave him mercy and gave him grace. God wants to show that to you and me as well in Christ, in the son of David. He wants to show you and me the extent of the wrongs, of the things that you have been forgiven for, so that you can learn to begin to forgive, to allow some people to cause you pain and yet to treat them as a forgiven person and to be free from all of the consequences of taking offense to what they are doing. You see, taking offense may look very, very simple sometimes.
You're not always walking around with boiling anger and gossip. Sometimes it's as simple as, "Oh, we haven't really talked for the last two years even though we live in the same town." Sometimes that's all that you may see on the surface when pain has turned into an offense and you have taken offense. People can offend you, but only you can take offense. Taking offense happens when you realize you've gotten hurt and you don't want the person in front of you to be forgiven. That's too easy—too easily off the hook. They're just going to do it again. I can't let this go on. There need to be consequences. Now I have taken hold of the offense that God dropped in my lap without me doing anything about it, but now I'm holding on to it.
We have to learn to never be in a place where we treat someone according to anything they have done in the past. Paul says it: we regard no one according to the flesh because of what Jesus has done in my life, because of what He has done in your life, because of how I've been forgiven, because of how you've been forgiven. We can never be in a place where we hold things against people, no matter how grave the sin, no matter how ongoing the sin.
Christ, the Son of David, seeks to show you how much you have done wrong, how expensive it was for God to purchase mercy, grace, and forgiveness over your life. Even then, when you received mercy, grace, and forgiveness, you continued to wrong God. You continued to wound Him.
Church, you have to understand that you and I are Absalom in God's story. You and I are the ones that so easily just try to have stuff our way. We may not say it literally this way, but we do it in our behavior. I know another king—he's an evil king—but if you don't treat me nicely or I don't feel good or I don't experience your presence, Lord, for a little too long, well then I just run back to my other king, and I just go back to my sin and the things that I used to be doing. God, I got options here. We don't tell Him it that way, but we have that exact same behavior.
Even though He bled and died and gave us all things freely, we continue to wound Him. We continue to reject Him. We continue to manipulate our ways through life, trying to get things to turn out a little bit good for us, even though we are to be accused of the death of His Son, even though we are the reason that the Son of God had to go to the cross and pay for the forgiveness we so needed. In our gratitude, we still wound God, and we still choose against Him.
In this first place in the Word, through David and later on through the Son of David, God is showing us something. He's teaching us something. He's showing us a necessary pattern of forgiving. He shows us in the story of David: until David forgave Absalom, David did not have that revelation of the presence of God. David did not enter into the presence of God the way that he was right there on that hill, weeping his eyes out, yet walking in constant forgiveness in an unreasonable way. By argument, unreasonable forgiveness. All of a sudden, the presence of God is there, and he writes this psalm. In the same way, the Son of David had to walk in unreasonable forgiveness so that He could be in your presence, so that He could come to live in your heart. Throughout the Word, God shows you and me the absolute necessity according to God for perfect, full forgiveness.
Then this Jesus turns to you and me and says, "Follow me now. Become like me. It is necessary for you to forgive when it's unreasonable. It is necessary for you to forgive the person, no matter how much they wronged you, no matter how much and how many days they will continue to wrong you. I'm going to need you to walk in perfect forgiveness towards them just as I walk in perfect forgiveness towards you. You still wound me, you still hurt me. I never treat you differently. I've loved you with an everlasting love. I've made up my mind. Now I need you to follow me. Now I need you to begin to do the same thing for others. It is necessary, church, because the pain of the wrong that you're enduring, and you're choosing to endure, and you're choosing to become okay with it like David did—the pain and the presence are connected."
David forgave the unforgivable, and he stayed in a constant state of forgiveness towards Absalom, even though the offender kept on offending, kept on doing wrong. David found out it was revealed to his heart by the Spirit of God. He experienced, "I do this, I continue to forgive, I continue to forgive unreasonably, I continue to let him go, I continue to not protect myself, I continue to choose forgiveness at all times, and all of a sudden I'm in the presence of the Lord. I choose to forgive, and it's unreasonable. The presence of God is there. I choose to forgive, and I'm in pain and I'm wounded. All of a sudden, the presence of God is there."
Verse 3: "But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts my head." David comes to find out, "I'm wounded, but I can't be discouraged. I'm in so much pain, but these wounds are unable to cause in my soul and in my heart what they were sent out to do. They can't break my spirit." I'm not discouraged. Heaven is opening up over my situation, and even though the pain is real and the wound is real, somehow Heaven is causing my head to be lifted. The opposite, by all means, should be happening in my situation, but when I forgive, the presence of God comes in that place right then and there. The wounds are real, but you cannot be discouraged.
Verse four: "I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill." In other words, God listens when I pray. I have an instant answer. It's not always what I want, but there's an open Heaven. There's no boundary between me and the Lord. There's no hesitation. I don't feel alone. God answers my prayers. Verse five: "I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me." Here's this man, tens of thousands of people rising up against him. Listen, if you feel good about yourself and everybody likes you, you're in the wrong place. This man, tens of thousands of people are against him. He says, "I lay down, fell asleep. I was restful enough to just sleep, and then I awoke, for the Lord sustained me." In other words, I have reason to wake up. I don't feel depressed. I have reason to live. I'm positive. Nothing is breaking me down. By all means, these wounds, the pain, and the hurt should do the opposite, but I'm in the presence of the Lord, and this is what is happening to me.
Verse six: "I will not be afraid of tens of thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around." This is not David making some boastful statement saying, "I'm not going to be afraid of anyone. I'm going to stand up against them all." He didn't. Absalom wanted the throne. David said, "God gave it to me. I'm not going to defend it. I'm not taking offense. I will just make room. I will move on. The Lord will do whatever the Lord wants to do." No, no. He says, "I will not be afraid." He's finding it out. It's being revealed to him. "I'm forgiving the unforgivable. All of a sudden, by all means, I should be cowering. I should be afraid. There's no fear for me in this place. Fear cannot get to me. The peace of Heaven settles on my life when I forgive fully."
But church, you have to forgive fully. You have to forgive with all of your heart, or every single one of these things will be stolen from you as a child of God. You'll struggle with discouragement. You'll feel like when you pray, Heaven is closed, and you slow down in your prayer life because it just doesn't seem to make sense talking to Jesus about every little thing. It's slipping out of your life because it's just not working like it used to work. Fears begin to get to you and drive you. They always tell you what to do, what not to do, and they begin to organize how you respond in situations. It's changing who you are. Rest flees from you. No matter how much you sleep, you never feel rested. You never feel peaceful. It becomes harder and harder to be motivated to love life. You have to forgive with all your heart.
You see, this stuff sneaks in, and it's by all reasonableness that it sneaks in. We could argue that David should have just had justice for Amnon and dealt with his sons at least in some way. We feel like that sometimes when grave wrong is being done to us or to people we love or people groups. We can build up such a desire for justice instead of grace and mercy that we begin to treat people, even if they do say sorry, even if there is regret, to continue to treat people as if, "Listen, that's fine, that's great. I'll give you a chance. I'll watch your behavior, but I know where you're coming from. I'm watching you. I know, I know, I know your history is not that great with this stuff." It is very reasonable and very easy and reasonable according to the wisdom of this world to forgive but to not really choose to treat people as if you have forgotten. To not treat people as if they've just never done it and you don't expect they'll ever do it again, and to treat them like that even though they're doing it. To treat them like that even though they're going to do it again. To treat them like that even though they don't say sorry, they have no regret. As a matter of fact, they want more from you. "David, I'm going to leave if you don't make things better for me here." We have to forgive with all of our heart.
The pain that we accept by allowing others to wrong us always comes with the presence of God that will show you to the depths of your soul that God says, "I'll lift your head. It's okay. I've seen this happen. Jesus can relate in every way, shape, and form to the things that any person in this world could ever do to you. He understands, and He knows how to lift your head in the midst of it. He's the one that will answer your prayers when He sees you are willing to forgive when it hurts, when it's painful. He'll be right there. There'll be no delay in His presence. There'll be no delay in the answered prayer. He will give you rest. He'll take a load off your shoulders the moment that you release people in forgiveness with all of your heart. You'll see the Lord just open your eyes to give you reasons to live, reasons to take life for all that it is and all that God placed before you, and He'll take fear out of your life. It will have no power. He'll take it all away. But we need to forgive with all of our heart, not just the wrong. We have to be willing to take the very risky act of forgiving the person to where we say, "I'm never again in your life going to treat you as if you're guilty of anything. I'm going to forgive you." It's necessity. It is necessary for everyone that seeks to follow Jesus. We see that in the New Testament from the Word as well.
1 John chapter 3, I'm going to read to you verse 14: "We know that we have passed from death to life because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death." He who does not love his brother abides in death. We know from the Word that that word "not loving your brother" or "hating your brother," we're going to see that in the next verse, what it means in the original language is to love less. It's not the word "hate" that we use today, where you have a strong distaste or you're against something. To hate something is to say, "Oh, I got to reprioritize. It's going in second place now. It's still really up there, but it's in second place now." It means to love less.
We know that we have passed from death to life. How do we know? Because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. So my question to you today is, who is it? Two years Absalom lived around David, not a meal shared. This person, if they'd come up at the altar to pray for you when you go forward, it would turn your stomach upside down. You don't want to share time with them. You say, "Well, it's just not my people. I love them a little less. Other people I love to be around, these people I love less. I do not go out of my way to be available to them or to share time with them or to break bread with them or to bless them or to speak with them or to do anything else. They have their life; I have mine. That's fine." Two years Absalom lived in the city, and he did not see David face to face. More and more unreasonable behavior. Until David forgives this piece of work of a man and begins to live in full forgiveness, he did not write Psalm 3 until he came to that place. He did not see how the Lord would draw so near in forgiveness until that moment, until that place. Two years. Who is it in your life that has done you wrong or that has just gone on and it's just easier to move on from them because they keep on being the same person? They do not regret it.
Verse 15: "Whoever hates his brother," that's that word "to love less," "whoever loves his brother less is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him." See, the Word says when you hold a grudge against a person, you abide in death. It's a death situation. Instead of peace, you have death. You have fear instead of rest. You have death. You are restless instead of joy. It's hard to enjoy anything. You feel a victim in every situation. Everybody's against you. Everything is wrong in the world. He who does not love his brother abides in death. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
You see, this is so incredibly important to the Lord that He shows it to us multiple times. But we're looking today at the life of David so clearly. Grave, grave, grave sin. Ongoing sin in David's life, and he has to learn to fully forgive in order to enter into that presence. And then the son of David shows it to us again, willing to just put up with the pain, willing to just put up with all of the wrong you keep on doing, yet treating you always the same, but inviting you to become one of His children and saying, "But you have to become My disciple. Unless you come and follow after Me, you cannot become My disciple. Unless you learn to forgive like I'm doing, you cannot become My disciple. You cannot enter into the presence of the Father. You cannot enjoy what I've purchased for you on the cross. You will not have eternal life abiding in you."
Church, you cannot expect Jesus to bring you home to Himself when there's something in your heart, an accusation still standing against someone that Jesus died for. When Jesus says, "I'd rather die than ever see that person guilty of anything," and you say, "Well, Jesus, you don't know what they did. I can't forgive that person. I won't forgive that person, or I'm not able to forgive that person," we're coming against Jesus in the most high form. And the Word tells us time and time again, Jesus says time and time again, "If you don't forgive, My Father in heaven will not forgive you."
Two years they did not come face to face. Jesus wants people forgiven, and you can never allow pain and hurt and schemes of the enemy—no doubt that he's involved—but you cannot allow these things to bring you to a place where you say, "Well, we're in the same town, but we don't see each other anymore. It's okay. They got their church; I got mine. They got their life; I got mine." But there's something in your heart, something of accusation still there, and you cannot treat that person as if they're perfectly forgiven, as a person, not just their wrong. "But don't do it again." No, they may. But to learn to forgive people with all of your heart as Jesus did, that you may have the pain, but that you may have the presence as well.
See, there is no life in the body of Christ without the pain of following Jesus. There is no following after the Christ without also entering into a portion of the pain that He went through. We cannot follow Jesus, bless Jesus, worship Jesus, and block our life out from people that hurt us and people that have wasted their chances. If we are going to become followers of the Most High God, followers of Jesus Christ, we have to learn to become okay with the pain because God gives the presence. I can endure the pain because of His presence. I can rejoice and write a song in the pain because of His presence. Here's verse 12: "No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us."
Church, instead of living with death in areas of your life, God wants to fill every corner of your heart. He wants to fill every part of your being. He wants to strengthen every area of your weaknesses, but you're going to have to choose to love the unlovable. You're going to have to choose to forgive the person that least deserves it, will never ask for it, and will never thank you for it, and will continue to wound you. It's necessary. You're going to have the pain, then you will have the presence. Church, forgive those that have wounded you. God will be near to you. His presence will never depart from you. I remember so clearly, and I was so much like Absalom in so many ways, and I remember seeing that kind of forgiveness of the son of David come over my life, and it changed who I was that day for the rest of my life because it made no sense. I had not done a thing to deserve it, never done anything to keep it, and yet He always, always treated me the same. Ever since I just believed that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and I believed that that is all that the Father required of me, ever since the day that I believed that, I still in so many ways behaved like Absalom did towards David. And yet, the Son of David, Jesus Christ himself, never treated me differently, never treated me according to my mistakes, never treated me according to me returning to the place where I came from like Absalom was threatening with.
But it began to give birth to something in my heart the moment I was forgiven. I could not have anybody owe me anything. They couldn't owe me money. I forgave the debt that every person that owed me something. I called them up and I went to see them the day that I got saved, and I told them, "You don't owe me a dollar. You never have to give me nothing. You don't owe me a thing. God has forgiven me." I could not live with a person owing me $5. I could not live with a person being wounded by me. I went through my entire town trying to find every person I could think of that I had wounded or that I had hurt, and I was as worse, if not worse, than Absalom.
Church, it is the love, the forgiveness of the Son of David, seeing how bad you really are, seeing how much you have wounded God in your life and continue to do so in measure even though He has given you so much mercy. Willing to see, willing to acknowledge, willing to speak about all the wrongs you have, you know you're forgiven so you can speak about the wrongs. They're no threat anymore, but they will help you understand: I need to forgive every person in my life, no matter what it is. I have to walk in perfect forgiveness.
No one had to teach me that when I became saved. No one had to remind me of that because I could see the wrongs that had been washed away when I least deserved it. I could see the wounds that I had caused, and yet I was being treated because of this Jesus as if I was the only perfect one in my family, as if I was the only perfect one in my life. Everyone else had problems. Everyone else had consequences of my sins still in their life—people I'd wounded, people I'd hurt—and I seemed to just walk away from it all because of this Son of David who treated me as if I'd never done a thing wrong and continued to treat me that way always.
Church, you have to learn how to forgive perfectly, always at the foot of the cross. You have to come in your heart to the foot of the cross daily, not just when you come to church. I have to go there in my heart daily in my alone time with the Lord, and I have to remember the wounds that I caused, and I have to remember the things, the wrongs that I did in order for me to clearly see how good, how forgiving, how loving, how unreasonable my God really is and behaves towards me.
Church, it keeps me in a place where I don't take offense with people. It keeps me in a place where it's always fresh, and when people hurt you or they wound you, I'm reminded: the pain comes with the presence. The pain comes with the reward of His presence. The pain comes with the deliverance. The pain comes with the answered prayer. It's okay for me to have pain. I'm going to treat you, I'm going to treat people, as if they are fully forgiven in my life. Church, you have to remain in that place. You have to dwell in that place. You have to live in that place. I'm going to invite you to stand today. For those that are with us online, I want to invite you to do this together with us as we are together right now in spirit. I want to invite you to forgive. I want to urge you: let your Absalom go. The Absalom in your life may never stop wounding you, may never stop hurting you, may never change their behavior. But you have an opportunity to accept the pain and to get the presence.
Do not defend, do not take offense, do not put up a wall, do not start to treat people as if they're guilty of sin because Jesus Christ is drawing them to the throne room. He's treating them as if the forgiveness is already purchased for them and is already available for them, and so should you. The pain of your wounds comes with the presence of God. Let your Absalom go and God will be with you. His presence will abide with you. He will be upon your life. He will guide your every step. He will answer your prayers. He will lift your head when it shouldn't be lifted. He will answer your prayer when you least deserve it. He will take fear and eradicate it out of your life. You won't have to fight it; He will take it away because you've become a man or a woman that desires forgiveness for the most unreasonable of cases and people—a man or a woman after God's own heart, desiring forgiveness when it makes no sense at all. The presence of God will be upon your life.
If there's any reason for you at all to say, "Well, maybe I've been struggling a bit with discouragement," or "My prayer life has grown a little cold," or "I feel so restless and I don't really have clear motivation and purpose in life," or "It's kind of rough and I struggle with fear," I want to ask you as Ella leads us in a song of worship, I just want to ask you: would you please ask the Spirit of God, "Lord, is there someone? Is there someone I need to forgive? Is there someone I need to let go of? I've been waiting for them to apologize. I've been waiting for them to change their behavior. They may never do it, but I need to let them go. I need to fully forgive so that I may have the presence back, so that these things may be fully on my life again."
You see, these are not displeasures of God when these things are removed from your life; they're His warning signs. He loves you. Your righteousness is at stake. Your eternity is at stake. You cannot hold unforgiveness in your heart towards a man or a woman that Jesus Christ died for. He died so they could be forgiven. You may also have to accept some pain in order for them to be forgiven. Follow Him. Accept the pain and get the presence.
As we worship, if the Holy Spirit already put someone on your heart, brought them to your mind, and you know, "I haven't perfectly forgiven this person," forgiveness is very simple. It doesn't have to feel good. You don't have to feel ready. You don't have to feel good about it. It is a choice you have to make. It is a necessity that is laid upon you by the King of Heaven in order for you to be welcome in His presence and able to be in His presence. You have to become a little bit like Jesus. You have to become a forgiver. You have to follow Him. You have to pick up your cross and follow Him. And remember: the pain comes with the presence.
But if the Holy Spirit has brought a name or a person or a people group to your heart as worship begins, I want to invite you to forgive them. If you would like Pastor Inna or me to pray with you because you just need help, I want to invite you to come and find us here at the front. We will gladly just personally pray with you. And if you say, "I feel like some of these things are gone out of my life and they may point towards a situation where I may have unforgiveness in my heart, but I couldn't tell about who," would you ask the Holy Spirit? He'll show it to you. He'll cause you to run into that person this week, and it'll be clear as glass to your heart, and the memory will be back, and you will have your opportunity to forgive, to let your Absalom go, and to have a song come into your heart that says, "I forgive all I did, and God answers my prayers.
He gives me His presence. He gives me all of Himself. He lifts my head. He strengthens me. He gives me rest. There's no fear that can touch me." That's what He desires for you, but He's sending a call: you have to forgive, and the presence will be there. The pain will also be there. It's real. It's not always just gone right away. Jesus knows, but the presence will be there.
Lord, as we get ready to sit under the ministry of worship, I pray that your Holy Spirit would go through every row and bring to our mind, Holy Spirit, what person, what Absalom in our life, we have to fully forgive so that we can enter into your presence again, where no fear is part of our life, where our prayer life has become simple and easy again, where our intimacy with you is restored, where you lift our heads, and despite the wounds and the pain, we're full of joy. No one can explain it, but Heaven has opened up over our life. Lord God, a place where we are rested despite the demands of life, a place, Lord God, where we have so much reason to live. We're so full of life. We're so full of love and life, Lord God. Heaven has opened up over our mountain of pain.
Lord God, I pray that you bring to the heart and to the mind the person or the people or the groups, Lord, that we have to forgive in order to really begin following you, Lord Jesus Christ. Lord, you've made us able to forgive. We acknowledge that. We pray, Lord God, that as we accept the pain, you would send your presence swiftly. Lord God, that the pain may not drown us, that the pain may not accomplish what it was sent out to do by hell, but that Your presence may be what forms our song. Lord God, that Your presence may be what forms our way forward. Lord God, that Your presence may be what turns us into great professional forgivers for the rest of our lives. Lord God, because we've come to know that when we've accepted Your forgiveness and we begin to accept that we have to hand it out, Your presence will not depart, and Your power will go before us in the most impossible of situations.
Lord God, I pray that You minister with Your Spirit as Ella worships over every single one of our pains, every single one of our situations. Father, would You give us the grace to let the pain in and to let the person go, that Your presence may become our new song and that we no longer may be defined by the things, the wrongs that have been done to us or that will continue to be done to us, Lord, but that we can sing of nothing but what You are doing over our life. Lord God, we bless You and I ask You, Lord, give strength to every person online and in this place to let their Absalom go. In the name of Jesus Christ, we do this, Lord. In Your name, we forgive these people. In Your name, Lord God, we understand the necessity. In Your name, Lord God, we trust that somehow You will deal with our situation far better than we ever could, and we entrust it to You. We’re letting them go, Lord God. We’re letting our Absaloms go, and we trust You, Lord. In Jesus' name.
Forgiveness requires an incredible decision of trust towards God. It's the only reason people will not forget to forgive is because they don't trust Him. Jesus Himself had to trust that the Father would raise Him from the dead. The price He had to pay, the painful price He had to pay in order for Him to be able to forgive you, is going to feel very similar for you. Sometimes it's going to feel like this thing is going to swallow the life out of you, it's going to kill you, it's going to cause death upon you. And you're going to have to trust that God will raise it somehow to life after you choose to forgive.
The healing comes after the forgiveness—that's the raising to life that God does. It's in the healing, it's in what happens in that presence. But never ever be deceived by some of the things you hear in the world, that you need more time, you need a little bit of healing first. There's no healing whatsoever until the forgiveness starts. Forgiveness starts with trusting God: "I forgive, I choose to forgive." Then the presence comes, and in that presence, a song of healing is born in a way that you can never explain to people, but you can sing of it for the rest of your life. And you'll be able to forgive others for the rest of your life.
Church, follow Jesus. Forgive. Bless people. Tell them with your life the story of a God that forgives always, for all the unreasonable. His name is Jesus. I've just learned to follow Him a little bit; He's far greater than I am. Tell people that story. Let them ask you how come you forgive, how come you don't take a grudge, how come you keep treating me like this. And you get to tell them, "Well, I saw somebody do this for me. He's done it for all of us when we were at our worst. His name is Jesus Christ, through whom all men must be saved. If you trust on His name, He'll send His Spirit. He'll show you what He's done for you."
Would you let me pray with you? Share the gospel. Live the gospel. Tell the truth in your actions. Forgive. Accept the pain, 'cause you'll have the presence. You'll be okay. You're going to make it. The resurrection will come, the healing will come. Trust Him first. Lord, we bless You. Lord, we thank You for this loving warning and reminder that You send. Warning signs come when, at the depths of our heart, we've turned back from following Jesus in the way that we treat those around us, in the way that we love people less sometimes. Father, I thank You for the warning signs. I thank You for Your Word. Lord, I thank You for the pain. Father, in the pain, You've taught and revealed and spoken so deeply and so gently and so lovingly.
You've turned that pain into such a deep relationship with You. Lord God, You've taken what was designed by hell to cause us to become discouraged and wounded for life, distant from people for life. You've taken it, Lord God, and You've made us closer to You than ever before. And You make us closer to one another than ever before. You're willing, Lord God, to turn it all around. Lord, would You give us the boldness to trust You every time that pain presents itself? Lord God, teach us to trust that You will give Your presence. Teach us to trust that You will change the song one more time. Teach us, Lord God, to follow Jesus and to let this world know in our words and in our actions who our Lord, our leader, our Savior, the author and finisher of our faith, really is and what He is like.
Lord God, I pray that You give us Your heart. Lord, as we go about our week, I pray that You bring people to remembrance and that You bring this simple word to remembrance, that we would know what to do with the pain. Lord God, that we may exchange the pain for the presence, Lord God, in trusting You and forgiving the unforgivable. Lord, teach us to live this way. Lord God, I sensed in my spirit from the beginning that You don’t want us to have an altar call. You want us to live this way every day. Lord, help us. Remind us by Your Holy Spirit. Remind us that really we were the Absalom in Your story—so evil in so many ways, so ungrateful, so distasteful. And yet, You've always, always passed over our sins in the blood of Christ and treated us more favorably than any people on the earth. Lord God, help us. Lord Jesus, to follow Your example. Remind us by Your Spirit and give us the boldness to trust and to forgive.
In Jesus' mighty name we pray, amen.
-Pastor Stan Mons